Last week I bought a car. The week before that I visited five to six dealers and drove at least nine cars before I found the one I wanted. Of four salesmen who went on test drives with me (something I noticed did not happen when my husband bought a car the week before), three of them expressed total shock that I could drive a stick shift well. Here’s how one conversation went:
Salesman: “Have you driven a stick shift before?”
Me: “Yes, for about ten years.”
Salesman: “I was wondering how on Earth you were so good at it!”
When I got to salesman number four, the car I test drove was an automatic. I apologized for my crappy driving, which was a result of my being used to a standard. He just laughed and said that his wife hated driving an automatic and missed her last car, which was a standard. I ended up buying this car and felt pretty good that I didn’t have to do business with anyone who would openly express such a sexist sentiment as “women can’t drive standards”.
(If you’re interested, there is even a Web site specifically for women who drive a stick shift..Stick Shift Sisters. )
This was the first time I had bought a car without the help and negotiation tactics of my parents, and I thought that sexist car salesman thing was kind of a myth or wives’ tale. But apparently it is not…there is even research on how buying a car is a completely different experience for a woman then it is for a man. There are dozens of online tipsheets specifically for women buying cars, like this one. And this one. And while most of the tips seem like pretty common sense information, I will admit that it was hard for me to negotiate and to press for answers on questons that were being answered vaguely (for example: when were the tires last replaced?). But I’ll also admit to a little bit of bad feminism here and part of the process where the sexism helped me out a bit…when I was being relentlessly pressured by one salesman (“what can I do to earn your business today?”), the “my husband has to see it” card was easy to pull and worked well (and got me out of there). But it was bittersweet when he told me to tell my husband to call him with any questions. Ugh. Anyone else have an experience like this at a car dealer?
During the time that I sold cars, I usually ignored the husband or male if one was present. Because I know that it’s ultimately the woman who will make the decision.
I also tried hard not to make assumptions about who knew or could do what, which actually got me accused of sexism, believe it or not.
Damned if you do, damned if you don’t.
Ha ha. Yeah, I suppose women make a lot of the major purchase decisions in some relationships. It was hard for me to sit back and not input my ideas into my husband’s choice of cars but we try not to control each other’s choices on things like that.
I really try to give people the benefit of the doubt (hence the sparse posting on this blog) but it was really the stick shift comments that got me upset. I wish I had said something to them at the time. It actually happens all the time, not just in car dealerships. I’ve had people ride in my car and act shocked that I could possibly drive a stick…which makes me wonder what they think of me in other situations!
You know, I don’t know how to drive a stick. Many people have expressed shock at this and offered to teach me, only to tell me they didn’t “want to teach [me] on [their] car!”. I guess for fear I would blow the engine? Either way, I hate being the woman that can’t drive standard.
Speaking of issues with buying cars, when I bought my Jetta I was still dating Mike then and he came with me. Not because I needed a man there, he just always tagged along wherever I went. The man at the dealership kept trying to talk to him over me and even once referring to me as Mike’s “fiancee” when trying to convince Mike to make the decision for me. I finally stopped the guy mid-step, told him that *I* was the one buying the car, not Mike, and that *I* would be making the decisions, and that Mike was pretty passive anyways. I told him if he didn’t deal with me and talk to me as a customer instead of ignoring me like an idiot, he was going to lose my business. I also told him I wanted $2,000 off the asking price immediately due to a large key scratch on the right side of the car, and that the secondary price would then be negotiable. He finally got the hint. Had I not had my heart set on this car (I had researched it on AutoTrader and Carfax) I would have turned on my heel and walked out. Instead, I argued with the guy, got a much lower price, and made him look ridiculous in the meantime. It was awesome.
I’ll teach you to drive a standard! Except I don’t have one anymore.
The last car-buying experience I had, my boyfriend at the time was a bigger problem than the salemen. I’d researched the cars I wanted and when the morning came that I was going to check them all out in person, he was sick. First he told me not to go then said to not buy anything without him. I told him it was my car and my money and if I found the car I wanted, it was mine.
I was a dance teacher at the time and the salesmen were a little condescending until they realized that I played hard ball better than they did. I got $3500 knocked off sticker price, $1500 trade in on a car that wasn’t worth $500 and they fixed all the problems I had with the car for free. When my Dad came to pick me up, he says to the saleman, “You know my daughter hosed you, right?” He answers, “Yes sir. Your daughter makes a killer negotiation.”
They didn’t see me coming and it was fabulous! The boyfriend’s ego said he still could have done better and, needless to say, he wasn’t around for much longer.
That’s a great story! I wish I was that assertive in the dealership…I keep realizing (months later) all the things I wish I would have asked for!!
This is sort of unrelated to the post, but I was wondering if there was any kind of feminist group around the fort worth area? Any meetups? I just moved from Denton and I can’t stand not having a group to talk about this kind of thing with..
Not that I know of off the top of my head…but there are many nonprofit groups that have young professional groups or volunteer groups and I’m sure that would be a good place to meet like-minded people! A few places that come to mind are SafeHaven (where I work) and The Women’s Center.